Chapter 2

The year went by the same way. Everyday I saw Alex, my heart would skip a beat, I would catch myself and then tell myself I'm only disappointing myself. I always hung out with my friends and had a great time at lunch. The classes were always the same ones, and they were always boring.

I passed the year...barely, but I was still content. I was also happy because I was headed to Florida the day after my sister's prom.

On the Wednesday before we left, I started packing, knowing I was going to leave it to the last minute if I didn't do it then. I jumped in surprise when the phone rang, and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Steph, it's Laura"
"Oh hey Laura, what's up?"
"Nothing much, I just called to say I'm gonna miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too, I'm leaving in like 3 days"
"I KNOW!"
"sigh.....for two weeks, that's so long!"
"You suck Steph!"
"I know, but what can you do?"
"Nothing......I guess. Anyway..I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you tomorrow kay?"
"Alright, bye" I hung up the phone and stood there motionless for a minute. God I was going to miss her, I thought. I had never been away from Laura that long, and I know it seems like I'm talking as if we were dating, but it's true, I was always with her. I returned to my packing as I thought of how excited I was. When I was finished, I went to the computer and signed onto msn. Seeing no one on, I signed off and watched tv.

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Florida was amazing. It was hot as hell, but it was so fun. We went to Universal, 3 TIMES! Then we went to Miami, we shopped, I got a tattoo and just had a blast. On the last day, I was kind of upset to go back home, but glad to see everyone again.

The drive home was long and boring, just like the ride there. As we drove past the border, I suddenly got giddy, not wanting to wait the hour long dive back home, to see my friends. Although I knew I wasn't going to be able to see them for like another 5 days, I was still excited none the less.

I was so pissed to realize that I had done shit all during the summer. Minus Florida and a couple of parties, I had done nothing, accomplished nothing. The only reason I wanted to go back to school was to see all of my friends again. I had only seen Laura and Daisy during the summer and I couldn't wait to see everyone else. Looking around my room, making sure I wasn't forgetting anything, I left and headed for the bus stop. After a 10 minute walk, I got there, stood and waited with Shawn, my brother, for the bus. It finally came and we got on, taking our rightful place in the back.

As we got to school, I looked out the window and saw all of my friends standing together talking and laughing. I ran to them as I got off the bus and gave Laura the first hug. Next came Daisy, then Kim, and then Luke, and finally, everyone else. I was so glad to see everyone again. That day went by like any other first day of school. We got our lockers, went to each class to get our material list, ate lunch and headed home.

When I got home, I went downstairs, put my bag in my room, went to the living room to turn the computer on and went to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom and logged into my msn, I saw the I had 3 new e-mails. It was weird, because I usually get junk e-mail, but this time, they were all from Facebook. I logged on to my Facebook and saw 1 friend request and 2 notifications. The 2 notifications were from Laura, writing on my wall, and my friend request was from someone I had never expected to ever see or hear about ever again; Alex. I added him reluctantly and left it at that. Although I wondered why he would ever want to add me,(because like I said before, we had never talked) I decided to wait until he wrote to me before I asked any questions. I sat there, still stunned. I hadn't even thought about him all summer, which was surprising to me, and now, he walks into my life. I decided to just sit back and see how it went.

The next day when I logged on, I saw that he wrote on my wall. "so we never actually talked but i have a good reason lol. how are you?" I read it twice before I started wondering what that reason might be. I decided to reply with,"lol I'm good...grade 11's going good for me[so far] lol, it's only been like 2 weeks. I'm just glad I don't have Armstrong again lol..you?" We talked a bit about my classes and shit like that before I remembered about his "reason." When I asked him about it, he told me that it was kind of between him and I so I told him to add me on msn. There, we talked about the reason, and believe me, it was a good one. After discussing the reason, he told me he always liked me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I thought to myself. I had liked him all last year, and had tried to force myself not to like him, which by the way had never worked, and the whole time he liked me back! Before screaming at myself for being so stupid, I remembered that we had never shared a conversation together, well except for those 2 lines for which I can't remember them. I was so happy. For once, the guy I liked, liked me back.

I was a bit upset when the conversation had to end, but I was happy because of what I had found out.

Chapter 1

Love is something that can't be bought. It comes to you even if you don't want it to. Every time someone falls in love, there's a story,whether it's good or bad, there's always one so here's mine.

I woke up one morning to the sound of my stupid alarm. Turning it off, I slowly rose from my bed, put on my slippers and got ready for another brutal day of school. For me, the only good thing that came out of school was seeing my friends. Other than that, it wasn't good for much else.

As I straightened my hair, I wondered what I was going to wear that day, and what plans I had for the weekend. The closest I came to answering any of the two was..I'm going to wear something and I'll do something this weekend. So maybe I was lying about doing something, so what? The reality of it was, I never did anything on the weekend. Well, I did do homework....FUN! Whatever, I didn't care. I had no boyfriend, my friends always did things among themselves and never thought to tag me along, so I always ended up spending my weekends sitting by the computer hoping someone would magically have nothing better do to than to talk to me, or sit in front of the tv eating.

After getting dressed, eating, putting on some sort of pretty face on, i.e. make up, brushing my teeth and getting my things ready, I reluctantly got into the car and prepared myself for another horrible day. It's not like I'm trying to say my life is horrible, take pity on me blah blah blah, not at all, it's just....uneventful that's all. 

I kissed my dad goodbye and walked into one of the worst places on earth. Getting my books ready for my next two classes, English and Science, I realized that someone was behind me.
"Hey Steph"
"Oh hey Laura" I said giving her a hug. Laura was my best friend, has been since Kindergarten.
"So how are you?" she asked me.
"I'm fine.." I replied. Although she knew I was lying, she didn't press the matter. If I didn't want to talk, she understood. We stood by my locker talking about anything until the bell rang. We said goodbye as she turned to walk off to Math and I to English.

English class was normal; bell rings, teacher talks for 90% of the class and then we read. Let's just say my teacher got easily distracted, anything you would say, he would go on talking about it forever. I didn't mind it, it was just that it was the same thing class after class. Soon the bell rang again and everyone got up and walked off to their next class, mine being Science. I hated Science. Since the beginning of time, Science and I have never really connected.

As I walked into class, I saw Kim and Cynthia at their desk talking so I walked over and joined them. I set my books down on the desk in front of them and joined their conversation about shopping. It wasn't a surprising topic since that's all Cynthia ever does or talks about, but I didn't mind it. I stepped up and saw something behind Kim. When I moved my head to look, I saw some guy. I had almost forgot he was in our class since he almost never showed up, but he was gorgeous, his name was Alex I think. In my opinion, no other person could beat him, he had a sort of...je ne sais quoi sort of thing going on. I don't know what it was about him, but that something attracted me to him. Knowing I liked him only disappointed me more because I knew that with a guy like him, nothing would ever happen between us. It didn't help that we never said a word to each other. Knowing that, and the fact that I wasn't that pretty, I forced myself to let it go.

Science was not surprisingly boring, except the fact that I sit beside Daisy, one of my closest friends. We always laugh and do shit all in that class, that's what keeps me alive.

As the day progressed, it got even duller with the exception of lunch. Lunch is always fun; mostly. Everybody always laughs and has a blast at lunch. My group is the loudest group ever, but we're the funnest. This lunch though, Laura begged me to go to the caf with her, so I decided to go. As we walked down, we talked about our day so far, what had happened etc. As we turned the corner, I saw him. He was there every lunch, but I don't know what happened this time, I just kind of froze on the inside. I was talking and walking and shit, but my heart kind of just stopped. I again forced myself to let it go. Nothing was ever going to happen between us and I had to realize it. Besides, He had a girlfriend, I saw her once, when he brought her into Science class.

After that, the day was boring. Nothing exciting happened, I went home, did my homework, ate, showered, went on msn and went to bed.

She stands in front of you, do you notice her?

She calls your name, do you hear her?

She talks about you all the time, do you talk about her?

She longs for you, do you long for her?

Questions she asks herself all the time. She wants to stop, you make it impossible. She hides her pain everyday, shrugs it off every morning but pulls it back on every night. She sleeps with the pain. Although I would like to say she eats with the pain, you make her lose her appetite when she sees you. As much as she admits it's pathetic, she can't deny the fact that it's the truth. She tries to run away from it all, only to find it has been chasing her the whole way. She doesn't want pity, so don't give it to her. She wants it to stop. All the pain she feels, the happiness she longs for, the dreams she wants to come true, is not what she wants; she wants the pain to go away, she wants the happiness now and she wants the dreams to BE true, but she knows it's not going to happen. "You're beautiful" they tell her, but why doesn't anyone love her? As you read this, you might think it's another cliché story, but it's not, it's her story......her life.....and she doesn't want it anymore.